I forgot to title this

As if I have the space or time or air to think about enrolling into anything, yet every time I read, sense or think, I am seeking to enroll in something. I am not quiet sure what has happened to me after my MA year of submission. I feel like I have been slapped into a coma and I can not manage to find a way out of it. I keep saying I have a priority but yet so much of my time is going off from it, and yet at the very same time, I am in search of something, I am absolutely unfamiliar with. Deep down, there is a sound, that tells me it is coming after me, and I will one way or another, find the crossing road with it, but for now keep going, keep seeking. Seeking for what? I am so unfamiliar with it, that every time I see the word enroll, I feel like it might be it, honestly I am loosing it, I barely have the time to blog, and if you ask me what am I so busy with, I have a hard time putting my words together to give you an accurate answer.

Figuring out my shit. Which I have been trying to figure out for God knows how long, but today it is a different kind of figure out, and as much as I am obsessed to enrolling into something new, the same much I am terrified by the idea of having to yet accomplish one more thing. I no longer want to accomplish anything, I now want to sustain. I want to focus, I want to stablize; my senses, my ground, my movement, my hand, literally, I want stability. Maybe, I might be able to say, that this is the first time in my life, that I search for longterm stability. I want to be stable, to stand up tall, sharp, certain, I want to be forever smiling, to feel advanced, satisfied, in the sense of acceptance, I want to dig down and not up, I want to feel rooted, building layers of wonders within the same wonder. An approach to internal being, like the rhizomatic roots of the grandest tree, so huge in its shape, in its weight, but actually I don’t want to care how it looks over the ground, I want with what it looks under the ground, it is so rooted, inside, so deep, in different shapes, in multiple ways, it is all so connected to the soil, to many soil, it looks like a Godfather, it is protection, knowledge, it is security, it is warmth, approval, it is infinite presence. Yes, I want to work my way down, not up, and I do not mean by down, down under, but down, down genuine, down real, down worthy. I do not care who sees it or who understands it, what I care about is the core of it, the truth of it, the clarity of it, the base of it, the light on it, it is the root self, the true self, the one self, the only self. This is where I am today in my life, where are you?

Enroll budged me into this piece.

Tree, spiritual, strength, creative

Advertisements

Loneliness

Stumbled upon this on instagram @damascus_son and it happened to be stumbled upon at the perfect timing for me.

I liked it for one reason: that I related to both feelings at the very same alone time. And I know for a fact that it is us who decide. Of course circumstances do play a part in us deciding, but if we do feel lonely, then there is at least one thing that can be changed for us to feel freedom. Mostly, it is 1- our mind set, 2- a situation we are in that we don’t agree to and are procrastinating about dealing with, 3- or we have limited comfort zone. To feel lonely is also to lack self love, motivation, goals. When we are alone, the world is under our feet. We have the quality of time to think, to meditate, to read, to relax, to work on personal growth, to write. When am alone; I personally don’t know where to start from, I always have a list of things to do. And when we are alone, that is the perfect thing to do. Get that dreams list done.

A long time ago… it has been

Again and again and again I have been away. Too busy with the self. Not sure where this will take me yet. But I have missed blogging. I missed sharing and telling and writing and listening to my blog. I want to say I am back, as I plan to be back, but I still need few steps but I will strut if I had to. I will try my very best. And here is my first piece after considering coming back:

There is hoping, there is living, there is giving and there is being. There are those who are here for nothing but serving. Those who enjoy watching other beings grow. Those who by giving know they are bringing what is more important to our tables. It is not about giving, it is about making what is true worthy of living. Awakening our capability not to just be our highest self, but be our highest serving of our selves that help others be more of them selves. More the selves that is in reality grounded to the plantation of this earth. To the genuine reformation of prioritizing, reformation of the understanding of importance. The last longing feeling of pleasant that is not necessarily felt but acted upon. It is pure gem. It is the only pure human instinct. It is content. Change making. True change making.

Thank you Dr Kit

Keep Going…

There is enough in this world for everyone. Just don’t give up, don’t waste your time on dwelling, don’t be afraid to have missed something, don’t be envious or jealous, those are all moments of time being wasted, and more negatives will be drawn upon you. Just keep going, keep aiming, don’t let fear drag you down, choose to be joyful, and keep the faith in what is out there, that belongs to you. And even then, remember, we are not here to stay. Nothing at the end really belongs to anyone. 


On Meditation 

To the perfect place to meditate, a minute to look into your heart, a minute to breath and fill in your body with the right type of oxygen, a minute to let go of your stressful thoughts; to loosen up your tight muscles, a minute to withdraw from everything holding onto you and pulling you elsewhere, a minute to cherish heaven that lies here within us and between us, a minute to feel silence & appreciate the serenity that exists amongst all chaos, a minute to hear the sounds of life’s music; the wind blowing to the right side, and the birds that sing right above you, the sound of leaves moving, and the sound of echo’s from faraway. A minute to sit back & be grateful; from every hour that passes, can be a transformation method to take you from wherever you are to your very current present. 

Be present today, be open to changes, be open to hear the sound shift, be open to walk it without having to be pushed into it, be open to trust the choices of life to you and not struggle with wanting to control your choices upon life. 

To a wonderful day, the first Monday of may, to choosing the present. 

From the miraculous view of Marriott Hotel, Petra. Thanks to Saif Khlaifat Photography for the beautiful photograph 

 

Relaxing into my Center

There’s a way to relaxing into our center, letting other people have their say, knowing our being is even more reliant at times when we’re in a space of not-doing. When the ego steps back, the power of God steps forward. To often we feel we’re invisible unless we’re making the cool comment, doing this or doing that. But we’re so much more powerful when grounded with silence. Taking a deep breath, knowing that what you don’t say can be as powerful as what you do say, thinking deeply about something before making a response-such actions leave room for a spirit to flow, to harmonize your circumstances and move them in a more positive direction. How many times have we felt we’ve blown it simply by talking when we later wish we hadn’t or by showing off when we could have just sat there and seemed intriguing? 

God’s spirit will always reveal the truth to us if we simply don’t block His guidance. And we block it by talking fitst, attitudinally walking ahead of truth. This happens when we push too hard, trying frantically to make things happen, or keep things from happening, because we lack faith in an invisible order of things. That is why a holy instant matters: it uis a moment of quiet when the spirit enters and nakes right all thins. 

From my readings, A Year of Miracles 

  

From my Readings – On Embracing What’s Important, the Real Joy of Living

We spend so much time on unimportant things – things with no ultimate meaning – yet for reasons no one seems to fully understand, such nonessential stand at the center of our worldly existence. They have no connection to our souls whatsoever, yet they have attached themselves to our material functioning. Like spiritual parasites, these things eat away our life force and deny us our joy. The only way to rid ourselves of their pernicious effects is to walk away… not from things that need to get done, but from thoughts that need to die.

Crossing the bridge to a better world begins with crossing a bridge inside our minds, from the addictive mental patterns of fear and separation, to enlightened perceptions of unity and love. We’re in the habit of thinking fearfully, and it takes spiritual discipline to turn that around in a world where love is more suspect than fear. To achieve a miraculous experience of life, we must embrace a more spiritual perspective. Otherwise, we will leave this earth one day without ever having known the real joy of living.

From the book a Year of Miracles – Marianne Williamson

24 hours in Zurich Switzerland