By The amphitheater, downtown, Amman, Jordan.
A grass design that says ‘Our Mother, Amman’ with the Jordanian flag on the back left corner, and a street swiper, swiping the dust at the front right corner.
This photograph speaks to me a thousand words.
Without him, what will this image look like? Does he know the worth of his contribution? Or does he see this side of his image in my photograph? How much contribution do we need to do for his self-realization?
As if I have the space or time or air to think about enrolling into anything, yet every time I read, sense or think, I am seeking to enroll in something. I am not quiet sure what has happened to me after my MA year of submission. I feel like I have been slapped into a coma and I can not manage to find a way out of it. I keep saying I have a priority but yet so much of my time is going off from it, and yet at the very same time, I am in search of something, I am absolutely unfamiliar with. Deep down, there is a sound, that tells me it is coming after me, and I will one way or another, find the crossing road with it, but for now keep going, keep seeking. Seeking for what? I am so unfamiliar with it, that every time I see the word enroll, I feel like it might be it, honestly I am loosing it, I barely have the time to blog, and if you ask me what am I so busy with, I have a hard time putting my words together to give you an accurate answer.
Figuring out my shit. Which I have been trying to figure out for God knows how long, but today it is a different kind of figure out, and as much as I am obsessed to enrolling into something new, the same much I am terrified by the idea of having to yet accomplish one more thing. I no longer want to accomplish anything, I now want to sustain. I want to focus, I want to stablize; my senses, my ground, my movement, my hand, literally, I want stability. Maybe, I might be able to say, that this is the first time in my life, that I search for longterm stability. I want to be stable, to stand up tall, sharp, certain, I want to be forever smiling, to feel advanced, satisfied, in the sense of acceptance, I want to dig down and not up, I want to feel rooted, building layers of wonders within the same wonder. An approach to internal being, like the rhizomatic roots of the grandest tree, so huge in its shape, in its weight, but actually I don’t want to care how it looks over the ground, I want with what it looks under the ground, it is so rooted, inside, so deep, in different shapes, in multiple ways, it is all so connected to the soil, to many soil, it looks like a Godfather, it is protection, knowledge, it is security, it is warmth, approval, it is infinite presence. Yes, I want to work my way down, not up, and I do not mean by down, down under, but down, down genuine, down real, down worthy. I do not care who sees it or who understands it, what I care about is the core of it, the truth of it, the clarity of it, the base of it, the light on it, it is the root self, the true self, the one self, the only self. This is where I am today in my life, where are you?
Enroll budged me into this piece.
One of the few things I know about writing is this:
Spend it all, shoot it, play it, loose it, all, right away, every time. do not hold what seems to be good for later, place it in the book, or for another book, give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better pace later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for latter; something better.
These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly, becomes lost in you. You open your safe and find ashes.
Annie Dillard
What about the magic town hall?
A place where your eyes wont get enough of; beautiful architecture, just stand in the centre, sit even or maybe, look up, look around, wonder, and get lost between the art that has been designed around you.
Dear Loved Ones,
This world is soon to be gone,
Let us admire what is left of it, what surrounds us, what comes to us, and even what leaves us, let us turn our heads around and tilt our backs to the front, let us sit upside down and do hand stands, let us see the world from the other side, let us change the blacks into the whites and the roses into vases, let us not waste one more day, let us not wait one more minute, let us cherish every moment we walk through and in to, from the very moment of now till the very moment of the next, let no one stop you, let no one pull you, let you be in the surface of your own earth, standing with both feet touching your grounds, don’t wait for no one to tell you what to do or where to go, but listen instead to the bottom of your heart, let the heart beats direct you, let them guide you, close your eyes and use every other existing sense in you to feel and admire every living thing around you. Admire yourself, your body, your movements, admire your taste, your vision, the sound, admire your breath, the feel of the air against your body, admire the kisses that rain upon you, the arms that go around you, admire the people who sit beside you, the people who call and message you, admire the sun when it shines, the clouds that shades you, admire the sky that is so high, and the grounds that carry you, admire the shadows of people living by you, admire the scent of your meals and the scent of your nourishment, admire your presence, your presents presence, your belongings, your capability, capacity, your possibilities and your whole self.
CRISIS,
Whatever it is; CRISIS,
We create our own CRISIS,
All of it, like broken glass, just smash it down with your own stamp and turn them into the smallest pieces surfacing the bottom line of your skull,
CRISIS,
They scream out loud “IT IS CRISIS”
Who are they, and who determines what is CRISIS,
Why scream so loud, when all you can do is sweep the pieces off the floor, trash them or super glue them back together,
Choices,
They can be simple new choices,
Those crisis of yours can be better yet turned into choices,
Just look at what can be done and not what has been done,
Leave it, let it, mend it, just don’t turn everything into a whole black hole, where only your nose fits but then it is stuck, maybe forever, with a black hole on the tip-top of your nose, you will always have to live with it, you will always be the only one, SEEING IT.
Daily Prompt: Crisis
In the Middle East (or as far as I know) in Palestine, Jordan, Lebanon and Syria; also known as Meghli or Karawia, is a dessert dish served warm or cold after giving birth. The house would be smelling like Moghli all month-long after the baby is born, people who come to congratulate the birth of the baby, come to meet the new-born, are served with Moghli.
This dessert is high in flavor, it is rice pudding made spiced with Caraway (for Karawia) cinnamon and garnished with your preference from pistachio, walnuts, raisins, pine nuts, coconut, or/and almonds.
It is interesting to have a specific dish associated to an occasion, as you relate a taste to it automatically, people in the Arab region (or at least in the countries I have mentioned above) expect to be served with a Moghli dish as they visit to see the baby. This is why it is always cooked in big quantity, and is sometimes even served at the hospital right after delivery.
So how do you serve your Moghli? Or how do you like it garnished? I personally love it served cold, with walnuts, coconut and with a little bit of pistachio on top.
Daily Prompt: Feast
So what is it that drives us? Where do we want to go anyway? We move and sometimes things move us, but how do we know what drives us? How do we know where do we want to go? We learn by example, or we learn by experience, we don’t always need to know what “exactly” it is that we want or that moves us, if we have that desire to want to know then we are already half way there, that desire is a movement, just go with it, let it lead you don’t try to lead it, let it take you, try, fail, it is okay, but try, try as hard as you can, and don’t stop. You will come upon a scene, or something that will scream at your face and tell you “here I am, I am your drive, I am your movement” and you will know where you want to go, without your drive, you will never know where you want to go, so listen, listen to that inner thing moving that takes place when you are quiet, or loud, when you are in the center or on the side, listen… let your ears lead you to your drive, and let your drive take you to your destination.
Daily Prompt: Drive
Venice, Doge’s Palace is all about the details for me, every little inch of it is a form of art, architectural art, how wonderful of a time had the architect enjoyed during his work of art, this is some type of forever beauty that can never have the lights dimmed on but always highlighted. People from all over the world come to see it, to study it, to meditate on its beauty, manmade beauty, a form of art that can not be missed or misjudged, but aways loved and studied. This is what details are about, if we can not use the details for our own advantages then let us not use details at all. Love the Details.
Weekly Photo Challenge: Details
Because I love food, and more than food I love the setting of food, I love coming up with new themes, trying new recipes, I love inviting people over, see their faces when they try new flavors. I love browsing the internet for new food styling, new recipes, new cafe’s and new photographs. I love how different each ingredient can look with different backgrounds and settings. It is beautiful what one person can do with one item, and the more items you have the bigger your art piece can appear to be. I love how one ingredient can serve several dishes, and one decoration can change the whole setting, I love how food speaks culture, how we can learn about people from the spices they use, from the taste of our mouth, I love how endless recipes have come to be available today, I love trying new things all the time. Below are food photography that I have enjoyed finding on my instagram account.
Top With Cinnamon, Food 52, Kraautkopf, Trotter, Marmalade, The Artful Desperdo, Duygu Elis Ntagkala, Tara o’Brandy, Tara o’Brandy, Athena Coldrone, Gather Journal, Athena Coldrone, Bashar Alaeddin, David Frenkiel, Food 52, A Guy Named Patrick, Caroline Adobo, Egg Shop, Our Food Stories, Diala Canelo, Food 52, Tara O’Bradym, The Cakery
Razan Masri 